Dear so-called friends,
I know you probably wouldn't see this, thats why I blog it.
PLEASE STOP FUCKING WITH MY FEELINGS.
In case you don't know, I motherfucking cares too fucking much about you guys I can't motherfucking breathe.
And no, I'm not joking.
I never show my feelings towards you guys because I don't want you guys to pity me.
If you care about me, you'll care, but if you don't, then I'm nobody to you and there's nothing I can do about it.
I'm always stupid to think that if I go all-in in every friendship/relationship they'll eventually love me back, but after all these years of experience, I really proof myself a dumb ass that can easily be fooled.
For all I could say, please don't befriend me if you're about to consider me as an acquaintance, JUST DON'T.
If you hates me THAT much and thats the way you want me to suffer, then congratulations, you've succeed.
Just don't say what you're not intended to do.
Don't make a promise you're not about to keep.
You may said it without meaning it, but it gets to me like ants crawling and bitting all over my body. Yep, I care that much.
It's really not that long since we'd become friends, but to me it's never about the time, I always jump right in.
But now it starts again, I'm all insecure, thinking too much, every bits of my body hurts just by thinking that you guys secretly hate me and talk about me behind my back.
"It hurts so much to think that you guys do something together at some places we had been together before, chatting about things I don't know and having so much fun WITHOUT ME."
XXX
Feels like I'm getting ignored/excluded.
Feels like I not needed.
I hope this is my another "think too much".
Things don't feel right to me.
Things never feel right to me.
XXX
Another sleepless night.
Night, dears.
